nightmares
by fangirlamanda
Summary: after losing the two people closest to her in the capital bombing, emily rhodes begins to spiral. her sleep is plagued by a constant loop of nightmares, and the pain carries over into the day, making her existence nothing short of miserable. however, there maybe be one saving grace, in the form of aaron shore. emron.
1. i

i. the aftermath

Emily really thought she'd endured it all, that there was nothing too awful that she couldn't get through, and that was partially true. She'd survived everything with her best friend, Audrey, and fraternal twin sister, Piper.

But now, what was going to happen to her, since they were both gone? Audrey had been a Financial analyst for Congresswoman Blackburn of Pennsylvania, and Piper was married to Maine Senator Kyle Jameson. They'd both been at the State of the Union that night.

She'd thought the initial pain of losing them was the worst she could have ever felt, but having to relive that pain almost every night in her dreams months later took the cake. She'd wake up every morning with scratches, bruises, and sometimes a throat so sore from screaming that she could barely speak the rest of the day. All of that, accompanied by the ache in her gut that longed to be with Piper and Audrey again was enough to make her waking hours just as miserable.

The most difficult of it all was trying to hide her problems from the people around her. Tom, Alex, Seth, but most importantly, Aaron. She'd sort of dug herself into a hole with him after swearing up and down that she was fine when he became concerned with some of her fading bruises and scratches. Not only did it become harder to keep things from him as the nightmares and sleep deprivation sickness became worse, but she dug herself into the hole even further by lying to him every time he asked about her health.

She'd finally regained his trust after his return to the White House, and if he found out she'd been lying to him for weeks, she'd lose it for good.

During the entire mess with the conspiracy, and Lloyd, on top of everything else, Emily had never felt so out of control before in her entire life. She was going into a downward spiral, and there was nothing that could stop it.

 _ **A/N: I hope you guys enjoy! Next chapter should be up sometime today or tomorrow!**_


	2. ii

ii. rock bottom p. i

Emily went on for another week, and every day it seemed as if she was getting more and more sick. She knew that her already weak facade was beginning to crumble, and she was pretty sure Aaron knew it too. It was just an agonizing game, waiting for him to confront her on it, to be angry that she'd been lying to him for nearly a month, but that moment never came.

He didn't say a word to her about her physical and mental state, but that Friday night, everything fell apart. It was late, around midnight, and they had been finishing up some work in Emily's office. She had been laying on the couch doing paperwork while he sat in one of the chairs opposite of her.

She was so exhausted, and all of a sudden, her eyes just closed. She didn't immediately start having nightmares, and hoped that maybe she'd be too tired for them, but alas, no such luck.

It was the same as usual, reliving that night, the ghosts of Audrey and Piper blaming her in part. She couldn't hear it, but she knew she was screaming because of how badly her throat stung. Emily hoped and prayed that she would just wake up, and for once, she did. The first thing she saw when she came to, was Aaron in the form of a blurry blob, due to the tears clouding her eyes. She swung her legs over the side of the couch and rested her elbows on her knees as he sat down next to her.

"Hey, it's okay. It was just a dream," he cooed, running his hand up and down her back comfortingly.

"No," she sobbed, the word coming out strangled and barely audible. "They're never just dreams,"

"What do you mean?"

"They're real Aaron, they-" Emily tried to say, but the sobs began to wrack her body.

Aaron sat there, patiently waiting for her to regain what little composure she could while trying to comfort her, but still giving her space. He waited a few minutes after the sobbing ceased before speaking again.

"Is this why you've been sick recently?" he asked, trying to get her to make eye contact.

Reluctantly, Emily looked up at him and nodded, biting her lip to keep the flood of emotion at bay.

Aaron sighed in frustration, sinking back into the couch and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I know, I know, I totally betrayed your trust by lying to you but, things have just been so stressful around here, and I didn't want to worry you even more," she said tearily, her voice still hoarse.

"Em, you should've just told me," he mumbled.

"I know, and I'm so, so, sorry," Emily replied, burying her face in her hands and allowing the tears to fall.

This time, Aaron shifted next to her, pulling her into his arms and letting her head rest against his chest.

"Shh, hey, it's okay," he whispered. "Just breathe."

God, Emily hated this. Not the feeling of his arms around her, but the situation that got her there in the first place. This was making her seem incredibly weak and fragile. The one saving grace was that she wasn't crying to just anybody, it was Aaron. Aaron, who had memorized her coffee order after hearing it for the first time, or knew she never wore bracelets because she fidgeted with them too much when she got nervous, and despite having absolutely no interest in Elvis, wouldn't say a word when she played it in her office while they worked. Aaron, who she didn't have to prove anything to because he knew she wasn't weak, and whose arms were the one place she could just, be.

"It's gonna be okay," he assured her as the sobs were reduced to sniffles.

She took a deep breath, and upon exhaling, her entire body seemed to relax into his. Emily's eyes began drooping shut, and she could feel herself drifting off again. She was too tired to fight the drowsiness and allowed herself to drift. Just as she fell asleep, she felt Aaron press his lips against her temple.

 _Well, you know what they say about hitting rock bottom, you can only go up from there._

 _ **A/N: I hope that everyone enjoyed! I don't think I'll be uploading until Monday at the earliest because of my busy schedule this weekend :( Sorry about that.**_


	3. iii

iii. rock bottom p. ii

Emily had honestly thought she'd lost the ability to be surprised, but utterly shocked was the only way to describe how she felt upon waking up. She had fallen asleep against Aaron's chest and hadn't had a single nightmare in the three hours she'd been out. Aaron had tapped out at some point as well, but his arms were still wrapped around her. Her shifting around must have roused him because his eyes opened only about a minute after she'd woken up.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked groggily, sitting up.

"Yeah-yeah, I'm more than okay, actually," Emily stammered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's just," she trailed off, turning to look at him. "That's the first time I've slept in over a month without having a nightmare."

Emily liked to believe that she'd wasn't in control of her actions after that. Without even thinking, she leaned over and kissed him, resting her hands on the sides of his face. She pulled back after only a second, searching his eyes for the confirmation that what she'd done was okay.

He said nothing, only looking at her in silent awe before capturing her lips with his and cupping her face with one hand, using the other to pull her against him.

Emily had no idea how he did it, but being there in that moment with him, it made all the pain of the past few months fade away, at least for the time being.

They broke apart momentarily, Aaron studying her face and gazing at her like she was the most incredible thing he'd ever seen, his fingers lingering as he pushed her hair back behind her ear.

" _I love you."_ she'd thought.

"Thank you," she actually said.

And that was all she said. That was all she _needed_ to say. He knew exactly what she meant, because ' _Thank You'_ wasn't just a simple 'Thank You', it was so much more. It was gratitude so great that words couldn't even express it.

Because even though she'd only slept for three hours, it was quite possibly the best sleep she'd ever had.

She kissed him again, this time was much shorter, but it held all the same emotions.

"It's late, we should probably head out," he stated after they pulled away. "I'll give you a ride."

She was still tired, and in absolutely no condition to drive, so she didn't protest.

The White House was nearly empty, with a few Secret Service guards patrolling the halls and the occasional staffer finishing up for the night.

The drive to Emily's apartment was short, only about five minutes.

"Well, this is it," she stated, biting her lip as they arrived at her door. She was dreading the thought of sleep once more. Emily hated admitting this, as she'd always been fairly independent, save for relying on the support of Audrey and Piper, but she needed Aaron.

"Are you okay?"

"No," Emily told him, being 100% honest. "I don't know how I'm going to be able to sleep, without having nightmares, and-"

"Do you want me to stay?"

All Emily could do was nod.

 _ **A/N: Surprise! I actually posted today.**_


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